What Stillness Taught Me
Notes on resolutions
For most of my life, I’ve been what I call an achievement hustler. Always chasing the next title, the next company, the next proof point. Always pushing myself forward, convinced that value and purpose lived somewhere just beyond the next impressive thing I did. If I’m really honest, a big part of that relentless forward motion came from how terrifying it has been for me to be still. Stillness meant I had to deal with my sh*t - and the messiness of what I didn’t want to face. Achievement became an easy place to hide, because the climb never ends. There is no top. Just another rung, another goalpost, another reason to keep going. So, so busy.
This past year, which I’ve called my year of no, cracked something open. Not because I suddenly found purpose in stillness (if I’m being honest), but because I stopped assigning my worth to external outcomes. I stopped pretending fulfillment would arrive once I achieved the next thing.
The closest I’ve ever felt to alignment has come from being radically honest with myself about who I am, what brings me joy, and how real my trauma was (even if I avoided it).
As we close out this year and look toward the next, and we all start writing out our extensive new years resolutions, my hope is to stop outsourcing our worth to productivity or pleasing others. And that we make room for purpose to live in integrity, in gathering, in joy, and in the simple, powerful act of being with the people we love.
I’d love to know what’s on your mind. Questions, ideas, suggestions, recipes - please send them all my way: allofit@mandanadayani.com